It's Yours If You Want It

This morning I read yet another wonderful blog post by my friend Marly of Samplers & Santas fame.  Marly's blog posts are sometimes informative, sometimes hilarious, sometimes inspiring, & sometimes all 3.  The most recent post I'm referring to is most definitely inspiring.

Marly will not do anything unless she enjoys it.  She also will not force herself to do things the way someone else has determined they should be done.  She states that she has not always been like this.  She too was once anal about doing things in what someone else determined was "the proper way." However, the passage of time & all that comes with it ... joys, tragedies, MENOPAUSE ... made her decide to either march to her own drummer or not march at all.  She chose to march to her own drummer ... & all of us who know her love her for it.

It was strange for me to read this particular post of hers this morning because I have noticed myself changing over the past couple years.  Change is a bit difficult for anyone with a high level of OCD mixed with perfectionism.  As the old song states, I got it bad & that ain't good.  I won't go into all the aspects of my life where these traits fight for dominance.  For this post I will only focus on one area.  Cross stitching.

As many of you know, this is my 3rd life as a cross stitcher.  I wrote about this in a blog post last year when my 3rd life began (click here if you wish to read this post).  In my prior 2 cross stitching lives as well as as the beginning of this 3rd (& final) one, the OCD & perfectionism ran rampant.  Choose a different color floss than what the designer called for?  Never!  Use a different fabric ... maybe even a different count?  Unheard of!

Little by little I have mellowed.  Aging does that.  It mellows you.  It reveals to you the things that really matter.  Perhaps it's because you realize you don't have a lot of time left & you decide you don't want that time spent in worry, anger, & doing things you really don't want/have to do.  I'm not being maudlin here.  After all, I could have another 40 years ahead of me ... maybe more ... but the first almost 60 years have flown by & so I know the rest of them will fly by as well.

I've noticed since beginning this 3rd stitching life that I have taken what for me is a giant step toward doing things rather outside the box.  On more than one occasion I have substituted my own choice of fabric for the fabric recommended by the designer.  Once or twice I've changed a floss color or two. I've even taken to tying knots sometimes on the backs of my stitches to secure them rather than trying to hide the ends like we are "supposed to do."  There is even this one particular design that I am thinking of adding something to in order to make it more personal!  I'm still having a bit of trouble with substituting stitches that a designer calls for (curse those French knots!!!) but I'm working on it   : )

Yesterday I began a new stitch ... Lizzie*Kate's Come Let Us Adore Him.  I think L*K's designs are fabulous, but they really aren't "me."  I don't like "cutesy" & most of her stuff fits in that category.  I do, however, have quite a few of her charts & even a few of her kits.  I have these to stitch for others who adore her designs.

As I was saying, I began this L*K stitch yesterday.  My intention was to give it as a gift.  However, the more I stitched on it, the more I hated it.  I didn't really hate the design.  The stitching itself was going along nicely.  I just was not having any enjoyment stitching it at all.  Whereas in the past I would've continued stitching it with the mantra "finish what you start" repeating in my brain, last night I decided no.  Life is too short for me to be stitching something I am not enjoying.  Therefore I am not going to put one more stitch into this piece.  Not one. What I am going to do, however, is offer it to anyone who wants it.  I will give you the chart, the fabric with what I have finished stitching thus far, & the floss the design calls for.  Note that some of the floss skeins are slightly used.  I hope that is not a problem. So ... if anyone wants this, let me know & it's yours.  If more than one person indicates they want it, I will throw names in a hat & draw one out at the end of the week.  This offer is only for my current followers. Please do not make mention of it on your blogs.

I have a lot to do today ... this wonderful dark, gray, cool (for Kentucky), rainy first day of October ... one of which will be choosing a new stitching project.  I don't think I'll have any trouble finding one   : )