Sunday, April 13, 2014

Hurt Feelings

Note:  I published this post earlier this morning & have received a couple comments since then with the person stating they are sorry that I have been treated so poorly by so many people, or that a friend or family member has been so rude to me.  Although I have certainly been treated poorly & have been let down by certain friends & family members at various times in my life, the examples I cite here are not specifically about me.  They are examples to illustrate the point of my post   : )


In my 60 years of life I've certainly gotten my feelings hurt many times by friends, family, & even strangers.  Hurt feelings caused by strangers are relatively easy to deal with. Hurt feelings caused by friends & family, however, are not quite as simple.

Have you ever received news from a physician that he suspects something serious behind the symptoms you've been having? He wants to schedule you for some tests.  You are troubled by this.  You call a good friend or perhaps your sister hoping for a bit of comfort, but rather than offering comfort, they say "oh, I'm sure it's nothing," & then go on to talk about a cooking magazine article they read that morning.

Maybe you are simply responding to an email from a friend or family member.  First you make sure you answer any questions they've asked & comment on all they've shared with you.  Then you tell them about the plans you have to visit your favorite aunt this summer, that it seems like your son was a toddler just yesterday & now he's heading off to college next month, state that you have gained 10 pounds & started dieting that morning, talk about the pretty birds you've been seeing at your feeder recently, & share about the cross stitch project you've just finished stitching & how you're looking forward to the next one.  You also ask a few questions ... perhaps how they handled their emotions when their own child left for college, if they have any plans for the summer, & how do they like the latest issue of Just Cross Stitch.  When you receive their response, they comment on maybe one thing you've written, answer perhaps one question, & ignore everything else.  Either that or they don't bother to respond at all.  

At worst, you view all these people as thoughtless & inconsiderate & vow to never share any of your thoughts, dreams, or concerns with them again.  At best, you tell yourself that they probably have some difficult issue of their own that they are trying to deal with & you pray that everything is okay.

I haven't mentioned hurts caused by close family members ... children & spouses.  They are the worst hurts of all & you respond to them quite differently than you do to others. At worst, you lash out in anger; at best, you pause, consider that they may be dealing with a problem or concern you know nothing about, & you keep your mouth shut, show them love, & pray.

People are human, & because they are human there are times when they will hurt us ... either intentionally or unintentionally.  God, however, is not human.  He is God!  He will never misinterpret something we've said.  He will never laugh at a concern we take to Him.  He is always ... always ... thoughtful, considerate, loving, understanding, & willing to forgive our mistakes.  He will never belittle us for & continue to throw in our face a bad decision we made 20 years ago.  He will never make fun of our appearance.  If we need someone to talk with, He is always available.  Joyce Meyer said something once that I thought was funny.  What she said was that when we want to talk with God, He will never say to us "hold on a moment ... I've got the pope on the other line."

The Bible tells us many times that God will never fail us or abandon us.
He always has time for us.  He is always with us.
God told us in John 16:33, "Here on earth you will have many trials & sorrows;  But take heart, for I have overcome the world."  
God never intended for us to depend on people to comfort us.  He wants us to depend on Him.  He is not only our God, He is the very best friend we will ever have.
When you want to share your joys or concerns with someone who will truly listen to what you have to say, someone who will give you total acceptance & love, someone who has only your best interests at heart ... someone who will never hurt your feelings ... don't go to people.  Go to God.


Vicki said...

Great post! Thank you for sharing it with us.

gracie said...

Well written...thank you....

Chris said...

Very true Shirlee!

jennifer768 said...

Love this post! It is so true and a big thank you for the reminder.Blessings,Jen

Vickie said...

Sigh. Yes, I know this only too well. My whole life I have been a "very good friend". I am the one who does respond to my friends needs and wants. I answer the questions and am there. I have never come across someone who does it for me. I am not saying I am PERFECTION, no. I am saying that I too learned that Jesus is my best friend.

Kaisievic said...

Hi Shirlee, what a great post - I think that unfortunately that happens far too often. You are such a great friend and you have Jesus in your heart and we are all blessed to have you as our bloggy friend.

hugs, Kaye

Pam in IL said...

Great post.

Simply Victoria said...

So true! Friends and family fail us. Thankfully He never does.