Matthew 5:44

When I came to God, I had a thorn in my flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7-9).  My thorn was & continues to be my perfectionism.  If I'm cross stitching something, I want it to look exactly like the photographed model because, after all, that's what it's supposed to look like.  Or if someone else's project has inspired me, then I want it to look exactly like what they've done.  The same holds true when I knit something, or crochet something, or quilt something, or when I do any other type of craft.  It must be perfect.  Even something as silly as stacking my dishes in a kitchen cabinet or the cans & boxes of non-perishables in my pantry.  It all has to be perfect.

After my conversion, the friends who led me to Christ, Gene & Brenda, instructed me to buy a Bible, begin reading it, & join a good church.  As ridiculous as this may seem, I went to the local Christian book store & nearly fainted.  This was probably when the seed was planted for my current need for Xanax.  Buy a Bible?!?!?  Good grief!  What kind of Bible?  There on the shelves before me were study Bibles, amplified Bibles, chain reference Bibles, & life application Bibles ... just to name a few.  Then I saw that these Bibles were all broken down into different translations ... KJV, NASB, NEB, NIV, RSV, TLB ... AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  I had to "do it right."  I had to read "the right Bible."  I had to have "the right translation."  I just had to!

I went home empty-handed, called my friends, & told them of my stressful experience.  They instructed me to go back to the store & buy the simplest translation which at the time was the TLB (The Living Bible).  Back to the store I went & back home I returned, happily clutching my TLB. Then I sat down to begin reading, but uh-oh. Where was I supposed to start?  What was I supposed to read first?  Once again I called my friends who I'm sure by that time thought they had helped to bring a real loon into God's kingdom.  The told me to start reading the Book of John.

I then needed to "join a good church."  I looked in the Yellow Pages & found that there were more churches listed than there were Bibles displayed at the Christian book store.  Once again I called Gene & Brenda who were undoubtedly considering changing their phone number at this point.  They just told me to visit a few churches where the Word was preached & join the one that was a good fit.  I remember visiting a few but not really feeling at home in any of them.  One day I was walking back from the grocery store, praying about finding a church home, when suddenly God ... yes, it was God ... simply said "Go to Northeast Park Baptist Church."  It was not an audible voice.  It was a voice inside my head.  A real voice.  Not my mind thinking something.  It was His voice. This was the first of two times when God spoke to me like this.  No one can tell me there isn't a God.  He spoke to me!

The following Sunday I went to Northeast Park Baptist Church & became an active member.  I grew closer to God.  I made many friends.  I worked with two of these friends teaching Sunday School for second graders. I joined a witnessing team.  One Mother's Day the pastor asked me to speak during the church service about the loss of my first two children & how God took the pain away. How I knew that they were not really lost to me ... that I would see them again one day.  

There have been times in my Christian life when obstacles sprang up in my path & I am ashamed to say that I allowed these obstacles to take my focus away from God. During one very long, very painful time, I actually turned my back on Him!  Can you believe it?!?!?  But you know what?  He never turned His back on me.  He was always watching over me.  This particular time in my life, you just can't imagine how horrible it was.  However, it taught me about the grace of God.  To have a time in your life that you can look back on & actually see God's grace, it's a wonderful gift.

God has been the top priority in my life for a long time now.  I will soon be 60.  Age, no matter what the media tells us, is a blessing. Those of us who have reached this milestone & gone beyond have had many life experiences which have taught us many things.  That's really what life is ... a series of learning experiences.  For example, when I was in my 20s, I was quick to retaliate if someone hurt me in some way.  Now, approaching 60, I am quick to pray for for them.  Matthew 5:44 is a challenging verse.

Bless people who hate you?  Pray for people who use you?  Really?  But this is what God tells us to do.  We can't just become Christians & claim the "nice" verses in the Bible ... the ones that, for example, tell us that God gives us a future & a hope (Jeremiah 29:11) or how He will supply all our needs (Philippians 4:19).  No, God asks us to do some pretty difficult things sometimes. Things that we might think are humanly impossible.  Humanly, they probably are. However, as Christians our lives are not governed by our humanity.  Our lives are governed by the Spirit of God.  We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).  

I don't know about you, but when I look at life right now, I don't see it with my physical eyes.  I see it with my spiritual eyes.  Wealth, fame, popularity, losing great-grandma's wedding ring, overhearing someone say we're ugly, our breasts getting caught in the waistband of our pants when we aren't wearing a bra ... it all means nothing.  The only thing that matters is our relationship with God.  Our only goal should be to grow closer to Him.  

My prayer for you today is that you will grow closer to Him. 

Be blessed!